Ellie’s recovery journey is one that embodies resilience. Throughout her life she has overcome many obstacles, bounced back from dire situations – and in spite of it all looks toward her future with courage and hope. Ellie has been clean and sober from her substance of choice, methamphetamines, for nearly a year and a half. Despite a minor setback last Memorial Day, she remains committed to her sobriety and a life in recovery. Her future goals include getting married, having a home, adopting a dog, writing a book, owning a bakery in Brooklyn or Queens, and most of all – staying sober and living her best life in recovery.
“I appreciate the staff at Milestone Manor. They never make me feel like I am ‘less than’.”
Ellie currently resides at Milestone Manor, one of the RISE Community Residences. During her time here she has completed treatment programs at both Saratoga County PROS and Saratoga County Addiction Services, and she is now looking forward to obtaining employment and living independently in the community. Ellie credits much of her success in recovery to the staff at Milestone Manor. “The staff there are so nice,” she explains. “In some of the hospitals and residential settings I have been in the past, I felt as if the staff treated me with derision and made me feel ‘less than’. I appreciate the staff at Milestone Manor so much because they treat me like a human being and never make me feel ‘less than’. The staff helps me take care of myself, remind me to take my medications, and they go above and beyond by doing things to help me take care of myself.”
“Ellie has come so far in her journey. She has learned work through discomfort, and to keep things ‘right sized’.”
Dawn Daum, Milestone Manor Program Director, shares, “Ellie has come so far on her journey. She has, and continues to do the work around learning how to regulate her emotions so that stressors no longer consume her. The Milestone team has had the honor of witnessing Ellie learn to sit in and work through discomfort, keep things ‘right sized,’ recognize when she is resorting to old behaviors that put her in unhealthy or risky situations, and truly believe she can do hard things.”
At 26-years old, Ellie has struggled with both substance use and mental health challenges throughout her life. “I started drinking alcohol when I was 11-years old, smoking weed when I was 14-years old, and graduated to harder drugs like cocaine and pills when I was 18-years old,” she expplains. At the same time, Ellie struggled with mental health challenges and has been hospitalized in psychiatric hospitals at least 40 times between the ages of 14 and 26. “I’m so proud of myself,” she says. “It has been 8 months since I was last hospitalized. With the help of the Milestone Manor staff and the two therapists I continue to see at the Saratoga County Mental Health Clinic, I am able to utilize coping skills to manage my mental health symptoms and my urges to use drugs.”
In testament to her personal growth, she managed her disappointment when plans to move into an apartment with her boyfriend fell through, and made the difficult decision to break up with him – to give them both the space to continue to grow – without the use of substances. “I cried, talked to my mom, talked to staff, talked to my therapist, used deep breathing and grounding techniques, but I didn’t use drugs,” Ellie proudly declares.
“I’m grateful for my parents and that they haven’t given up on me.”
Ellie is fortunate to have a very supportive family. Her parents and her sibling support her emotionally and her parents help her out financially when needed. They encourage her to remain sober and maintain her mental health. “I’m so grateful for my parents and that they haven’t given up on me,” Ellie shares. “At one point, I was sure they did give up on me because I had fallen so far off the wagon, that they refused to answer my texts and calls.” They did, however, eventually resume communication with her once she started working on her recovery again. They been there with her all the way. “Now, that I am clean and sober and working on my recovery, I talk to my mom about four times a day!” Ellie exclaims.
As a child, Ellie’s home life was chaotic at times. Her parents divorced when she was young. She was bullied in middle school; being told she was fat and ugly. All of this eroded her self-esteem and led to poor choices, including the use of alcohol and drugs. “Around this same time,” Ellie shares, “my mental health symptoms began to escalate and the hospitalizations in psychiatric facilities began.”
“High School was better,” Ellie says, “I was more confident in myself and I had friends.” However, as she entered her twenties, and her substance use increased, she found herself in bad social situations. “I was often homeless. I made poor choices. I overdosed on drugs three different times, and the people I associated with were negative influences in my life,” Ellie explains. Throughout this time, she continued to be hospitalized but once she was released, she went right back to the lifestyle she was living.
“I was at the lowest point in my life, and it was then I decided I wanted to take care of myself.”
“In July 2020, I tried to kill myself,” Ellie shares. “I almost ruined my liver because I took handfuls of Tylenol when I tried to kill myself.” Ellie was hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit where she received very painful liver damage treatment to remove all the acetaminophen from her liver. “This was a turning point in my life,” Ellie admits. “But if I hadn’t tried to kill myself, I don’t think I would be where I am today. It was at this lowest point of my life, and it was when I decided that I wanted to take care of myself.”
Once her physical health was stable, Ellie was hospitalized in a psychiatric center to begin work on her mental health and recovery. Soon thereafter she moved into Milestone Manor and continue her work in earnest. Ellie is hopeful that she can maintain her mental health and her sobriety and looks forward to working towards attaining all her goals.
RISE is proud of the work Ellie has done while at Milestone Manor and to be a part of her recovery journey. We wish her well and hope she does attain all her hopes and dreams.