Michelle, like many individuals living with mental health challenges, had been experiencing a “flattened affect,” an underlying symptom of several mental and physical health conditions as well as a side effect of some medications.
“I never wanted to do anything, even when my sisters or my friends reached out to me.”
The symptoms which Michelle had been experiencing and refers to as a living in “fog” included lethargy, disinterest, and an inability to express emotion. Her story is how she “woke up” with help from living in a community residence.
Michelle grew up in the capital region of New York and had a happy childhood. However, throughout adulthood, Michelle spent years in abusive relationships. She lost custody of her children, who thankfully were able to be placed with family members. However, the trauma of the abuse she suffered, and the loss of her children led to the mental health challenges she began to experience later in life. Additionally, as a young adult, Michelle’s mother, who was a major source of support, passed away, which compounded the trauma she was experiencing.
After her last relationship ended and she moved out of her abuser’s home, Michelle, who had never lived completely on her own, attempted to live with various family members, but none of these situations worked out. As a last resort, Michelle’s father helped her obtain a hotel room.
“My children are the most important thing to me. It was my love for them that kept me safe.”
While living in the hotel, Michelle began experiencing suicidal thoughts but gratefully did not follow through with them. “My children are the most important thing to me. It was my love for them that kept me safe.” Thanks to her sister’s intervention, Michelle entered into Four Winds Hospital where she obtained the help she needed to begin coping with the trauma she had experienced and the skills necessary to be able to keep herself safe.
Once she was release from the hospital, Michelle lived at the Shelters of Saratoga until an opening in the Progressive Steps Apartment Program (PSAP) became available. However, it soon became evident that Michelle needed the extra guidance and supervision a community residence provides.
Michelle then became a resident of Rain House, a RISE community residence. While there, the “fog” Michelle was living under became more apparent. “I never wanted to do anything, even when my sisters or my friends reached out to me,” Michelle shares. “I never wanted to go anywhere with them. All I ever wanted to do was sit and watch television. The only emotion I remembering feeling was anger which caused me to be argumentative and snap at other people.”
Michelle said that while she was in a “fog,” she only went through the motions of working on goals and objectives designed to develop her independent living skills, but she did not get much out of her efforts. “I was unable to care for myself, I had horrible hygiene, and if it weren’t for the staff at Rain House, I would not have taken my medications,” Michelle explained.
“Now that I am awake, I have been working hard to overcome my trauma.”
Then, about a year ago, Michelle ended up in the hospital for observation after she slipped and fell. While there, Michelle’s medication regimen was adjusted, and she felt like she “woke up.” She became more alert and was able to fully participate in the program at Rain House.
“Now that I am awake, I have been working hard to overcome my trauma,” she shared, “I’m using copings skills to help me maintain an even mood. I like to listen to music, sing, dance, and read.” She is engaging in life again: Michelle interacts with and has good relationships with her sisters, her children, and a few female friends she has remained in contact with over the years.
Michelle shared that her father recently passed away, but now that she has the skills to do so, she was able to process this grief without experiencing a setback in her mental health.
Michelle has become much more independent. “I am able prioritize my selfcare, managing my medications, and I have good personal hygiene,” she says. Michelle is also able to make and keep appointments with her service providers, and she is working on her interpersonal relationship skills. “My children and my grandchildren are the most important things in my life. I am grateful I have the presence of mind to be able to enjoy them,” Michelle shared, “I feel normal again! I feel I am able take care of myself. I am looking forward to moving back into a PSAP apartment and eventually getting a job and my own apartment.”
RISE wishes Michelle well and hopes she obtains her goal of living independently in the community. RISE is proud to be a part of her story and the role staff has played in helping her along her journey towards personal wellness.