Ralph Bell, Counselor at Hedgerow House, has been in recovery for over 35 years. Despite, or perhaps because, he was arrested and incarcerated, he met Father Young — Reverend Peter G. Young Jr. — who helped get him a better path. Ralph attributes his success in his recovery to Father Young. “He was my advisor,” Ralph shares, “but he was more than that, he was my spiritual guide and my professional mentor.”
“Father Young help me learn that I could live a life in recovery.”
Ralph first met Father Young in 1985 while incarcerated at Mount McGregor Correctional Facility, which was a medium security prison for male inmates in the Town of Moreau. He participated in the Alcohol and Substance Abuse Treatment (ASAT) program, an inmate run therapeutic treatment and behavior modification program. It was first of its kind and was piloted by Father Young. Ralph recalls, “I volunteered to go to the ASAT program at McGregor for 90 days because it would look good for my parole. But because the program meant so much to me, I ended up staying in while I served the rest of my two years.”
“It was in the ASAT program where I learned that addiction is a disease and I first acknowledged that I had an addiction to drugs and alcohol,” Ralph discloses. “I never thought I had a problem, but once I admitted and accepted that I was an addict, I surrendered. And with Father Young’s guidance, I learned that I could live a life without substances.”
Ralph eventually became an ASAT pre-release coordinator, developing inmate discharge plans, including his own. But when it came time for Ralph’s discharge, he did not have any place to go, but knew he did not want to return to his old neighborhood. So, he asked Father Young for advice. And Father Young came through for Ralph by helping him find placement at the 820 River Street Halfway House in Troy. While there, Ralph committed to his recovery and attended as many groups and meetings as he could each day.
Ralph became one of the few individuals who had previously been incarcerated at Mt. McGregor to be employed there.
Recovery became a way of life for Ralph and over the years Father Young’s professional mentoring helped Ralph obtain jobs that allowed him to work with and help others struggling with addiction. Ralph’s first job in this field was working with Sister Phyllis Herbert at the Honor Court in Albany, a rehabilitation agency focused on changing the lives of individuals involved in alcohol and drug-related crimes. After gaining valuable experience at the Honor Court and becoming a CASAC 2 (Certified Addiction Substance Abuse Counselor) in 1990, Ralph became one of the few individuals who had previously been incarcerated at Mount McGregor Correctional Facility to be employed there. He worked as an ASAT Program Assistant helping inmates develop treatment plans.
Meanwhile, Father Young had been working on developing programs similar to ASAT in other prisons and county jails throughout the state which provided Ralph more opportunities to continue doing this type of work. “It was very interesting,” Ralph remembers, “I was able to facilitate self-help recovery meetings, bring in outside speakers, and help people discover the value of recovery.” Ralph learned other valuable skills doing this type of work as well. “Father Young taught me how to navigate the political red tape involved in working with county jails and prisons,” Ralph remembers. “He also taught me valuable people skills: how to be sociable and to interact with others in a professional manner.”
“Before I met Father Young, I did not have a work ethic.”
Later, when one of the programs Ralph was working for in Dutchess County merged with the probation department, he decided to take a break from working in the addictions and recovery field and moved with his wife and young son to New Jersey where he worked for five years making sheet rock. It was doing this hard, physical labor that Ralph realized that he had developed a strong work ethic. “Before I met Father Young,” Ralph recalls, “I did not have a work ethic. All I cared about was finding a way to get money to drink alcohol and do drugs, even if that meant stealing from my employers, which eventually led to my arrest and incarceration at McGregor.”
Ralph’s childhood was chaotic. His grandmother, who lived in Queens, assumed custody of him and his younger brother when Ralph was 7 years old. It was at her house as a young child that he began experimenting with alcohol without even realizing what he was doing. “My grandmother had little bottles of wine and alcohol she kept in the house for entertaining business associates. I would sneak them and drink them not knowing what they were,” Ralph admits. “I loved the way they made me feel – laughing, clowning around, and becoming much more sociable – so I kept taking them.” However, the negative effects of the alcohol soon became apparent as Ralphs’s behavior became aggressive to the point he started physically fighting with his peers.
After getting kicked out of several public schools due to his aggressive behavior, Ralph’s grandmother enrolled him in a Catholic school and attempted to engage him in after school activities such as bowling to control his behavior. While he was not expelled from the Catholic school, his behavior remained aggressive as he continued to drink and began experimenting with drugs. “When I was in middle school, my drinking became out of control,” Ralph concedes. It was also while he was in middle school that Ralph’s mother came back into his life. He and his brother moved with her to Long Island where he attended and managed to stay in the same public high school for all four years, but the drinking, drugging, and bad behavior continued.
As a young adult, Ralph worked several factory jobs but was unable to keep them due to his addictions. He became involved in crime, lots of burglary, to afford drugs and alcohol. At one point, Ralph felt the desire to do something different with his life and sought counseling to go to college. He obtained funding and attended college at Dean College in Franklin, Massachusetts. But again, due to his addictions, his class attendance was sporadic, and he eventually dropped out. After his attempt at college, Ralph obtained a job in finance which led to his arrest and incarceration at McGregor. “I got caught up in the bearer bonds game while working for Merrill Lynch,” Ralph admits. “I was arrested for fraud, all due to my continued attempts to supplement my addiction.”
“Meeting Father Young was the turning point in my life.”
However, this was the turning point in his life because it was at McGregor where he met Father Young and started living a life in recovery. While in McGregor, he also met his recovery sponsor, Monroe Wesley Parrott, who has been guiding him in maintaining his sobriety for the past 35 years. With help from Monroe and Father Young, Ralph established a career in helping others in recovery.
In 2005, Ralph started working at Hedgerow House, a RISE substance use recovery community residence program. At Hedgerow, Ralph has been an inspiration to others and an asset to the program. He chooses to work the overnight shifts to be free to become involved in the community during the day to further help individuals with their recovery.
Ralph lives a full life. He is involved in his adult son’s life. He enjoys weightlifting, listening to and playing music, attending jazz festivals, volunteering in the community, and traveling. His most recent trip was an outreach mission to Puerto Rico. “I’m grateful for my life in recovery,” Ralph humbly shares. “It has given me the ability to be compassionate, sensitive, and encouraging of others.”
In December 2020 Father Young passed away. Ralph remembers him fondly, “Without Father Young’s spiritual guidance, professional mentoring I would not be where I am today.” Ralph was asked to speak at the Father Peter G Young Jr. Foundation Annual Fundraiser event in July 2021 where he expressed his profound gratitude and appreciation for the impact that Father Young made on his life.